she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
