I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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