fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
