Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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