His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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