No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
