spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My cat gives me a boner
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
