We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
