I want to make a zoo with you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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