The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
