How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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