don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
