YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this boner is exhausting
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
