should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
