Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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