my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you win again, gameday.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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