WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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