I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
