Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
