I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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