Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize