My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
