i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
