$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
