Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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