I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
