spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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