Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
