I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
