Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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