Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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