There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
40s are totally the cure
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
