Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
