I'm lost and stupid without you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize