woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
