I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
