i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
