My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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