to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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