White coat. Heels.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
