were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My vagina is officially offended.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
