I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
