STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
