Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
