oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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