You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
