my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
