Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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