he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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