i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
