So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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